Let me be the channel of your peace

God I have seen so much suffering in my journey, it is hard to not get hurt from witnessing it through listening to the crippling screams from the suffered.

Let me be the channel of your peace so that I may bring light where darkness swallows souls and I may bring joy and hope to the sad and hopeless. God, I know how childish of a thought it is of mine wanting to put a stop to suffering. I know I am childish and I know I am naïve, but as a child I hope in faith that I will be granted with this gift. This is because I am only human, I cannot and am not capable to love the way you do. Neither am I able to be the ultimate observer that watches mankind destroys itself yet be uninvolved that Buddha suggests. I am of this world and am part of it, its movement has an impact on me no matter how still I try to remain.

And yes as naïve as I am, I believe I understand your love… Your love in the parent role, the ability and patience to watch men goes on making mistakes when they exercise their “free will”. To be able to hold the hurt, anger and hostility as they curse you, hold you responsible and blame you for their foolish acts. God, you are so fair that you are so cruel!! God, you are so full of love that you are so cold-hearted!! I know many will be puzzled at my statements about you, but I am not. It is hard to explain how I feel this so deeply about you, how I know you in an abstract yet real way. God, teach me to be more human so that I will not try to strive to be you because it is not possible. Buddha grant me the enlightment to be able to be the lotus that grows from dirty soils so I may “be” amongst the ordinary fellow humans.

Pls note that my idea of God is going to be very different from yours. My God is of a philosophy nature not of religion. I am perhaps yet to be saved in some’s opinions but I am none the less spiritual…a lot more spiritual than many and many think I am. And to understand my background where west mean east, this is why I cannot have a God from a religious nature where any one of “God” and “Buddha” may be excluded as an idol. For me, the ultimate truth is love…… Love is what makes my world real, it is my truth and my reality.