What am I doing?

Today as I walked into the computer lab where I was intending to do my work, I met a familiar face. It is a face that belongs to a fellow postgraduate student that I have always fondly enjoy chatting about politics and macro issues in the region where we live.

During the lively chat, we spoke about poverty; we spoke about regional policies keeping people immobile and disadvantaged. I cannot help but be asking myself, what am I doing to help this situation? What can I do and what am I doing?

I am not doing anything, let's admit that. I feel guilty, I feel angry and I feel depressed and incapable of helping others in that situation. I am shocked and I am stunned. I ask this of myself, is it naive is it silly is it crazy to think I should be doing something about this? Am I out of my mind and why do I care so much?

Why should I stand up and how do I do this? It is painfully ironic when I wonder how much would my family care about the same thing. And how urge do they feel they should do something? I can almost hear them saying just do your job and don't get into trouble. But I feel like sometimes I have to get into trouble in order to do my job.

God, I pray that you would give me direction - direction that guide me in being able to make a difference how ever small individual me as a person. I find it really hard not to break when I think - gosh, why such injustice and inequality for my brothers and sisters from another mother and father? Why?

God, why?