a work situation that I would like myself to remember always

Last week, while the OT in charge of the paeds was on holiday; I took care of 3 patients in one of her wards for her. There were a mother & child pair which is the main characters of this story.

I started my week with them building trust, discussing what is difficult for being a 20 year old mum while studying Gr. 9 without the father of the child and having had a stroke and then I went onto practising ways of making life easier with the mum for them both. Suddenly, when I arrived the next day; I saw the mum crying and holding onto her equally crying baby tightly in her arms while surrounded by aggressive looking doctor and nurses who were trying to convience her to stay and go to the hospice for RVD rx for the baby. The mum's will was strong with regards to going home going hospice is a place to die & the baby hasn't improved in 4mths which earned her the comments of a doctor to say "she's killing her baby and she is a bad mum" and "by law, we should actually take the baby away from her".

For God's sake, why did you make that comment, Dr. "I know what's best"?! How dare you judge the mum for her decision?! How dare you for wanting to kill her self esteem and strip her of her identity of being a mum?! You are white and male and young, WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU KNOW BETTER THAN SHE DOES ABOUT BEING THIS BABY GIRL'S MUM??? I know the law you are talking about and it is about child abuse and neglect. I do not believe that being by the baby's side for 8 months and had to quit school for it is an action from a child abuser or neglector?! You are killing the baby by stabbing her mum. Not to forget that the baby is at stage 4 in RVD and is dying anyways.., do you smile to see that this poor baby girl is to die in some cold lonely uncomfortable and unloved corner of a children's hospice/home cos' you think she does not have a mum that fits to be her mum? How cruel is it to seperate mum and child? How cruel is it to want the kid to die unsurrounded by love and loved ones? How dare you not to consider the social stimga and pressure she and her family is facing which leads to her choice?! How dare you for stabbing a bleeding heart? This mum had fought so long and so hard for her child, she may be young but she is a loving mum! God, am I the only person here in the team who believes in her (and in fact knew least about her)?

God, I am upset about this and my heart is still bleeding for this pair. It is unlikely I will see them again cos' they are far into the development of their illnesses. God, teach me how to deal with this? How to do something about this injustice? No amount of apology will ever heal the 20 year old mum's heart. She has been trying so hard yet she was not good enough in some morron's eyes. IT is like getting snapped on your face and getting told you are a born failure and you will never be amount to anything.

What am I to do? So many collague had heard my story and then moved on, is there nobody who will be prepared to do anything about it? I want to give that morron a wake up call!!! Life is not always about the length of it but the width (the quality of life)! We do not have the power to decide who lives and for how long does someone live but we certainly can contribute towards a better/more comfortable stay on earth for their time left. Why do you have to shut the door by deciding so early about how gd/bad a person is? How do you expect her to want to ask u for help if you just push her away like this?

God, help me please!! help me to live past this one event in my professional career. I know how this will always stay in my mind and how this will always remain a sad event for me. God help me to stop this injustise!!