If you think I have been gone forever and that you have got rid of me, you are wrong.you are so wrong.
I know you have been saying no, go away, you are nt good enough. You don't fit in our system... But I will not give in until I hear you cry for mercy.singer people may say I'm being childish and immature in expecting a change in something so rigid, and I knower I am probably too but stillit doesn't mean I don't thrist for my revenge. Yes I'm human, sinfully so.
I'm thinking that perhaps I should trying give up yet I never know it can be so hard to do so.in fact out is harder to give up than out is to hold on and just on and on. I'm thinking this is a calling to do something else quite differently. I wonder when will I have these courage to go places do things I have never done before, I shall look forward to that day when ishii can take that jump
Friday, December 2, 2011
Sunday, July 24, 2011
I am grateful that we have met...
As I prepare for yet another interview tomorrow, I began thinking about those of you I have met while I was working in my last job in SA. I really feel grateful that I have met each of you. I still remember one of the last thing one of you said to me was 'Anita, you have done so much for us, you have no idea how you have change our lives. There is nobody else like you in this place.' I would say the same for all of you, that you have no idea how much you have changed my world.
To the anti-psy artist, I thank you for showing me strong belief in yourself and teaching me what true client centredness means,
To the ice cream man, I thank you for your laughter and your positivity despite you are in trouble, I so wished, still wish I could pull you out from the deep waters,
To the asylum seeker, your bravery, your endurance in hardship re-light a fire in my heart as I look back into my own history,
To the one in the wheelchair, thank you for giving me the opportunity to face up to my own fear of dying, suffering and being unloved,
To the one with the broken hand, you tested my patience and my sense of responsibilities, thank you for the opportunity that I could exceed my best,
To the enlighten car mechanic, I am sorry I couldn't stand up stronger for your spirituality,
To the cycling ex-solider lost in his own world, I am sorry I couldn't help find more justice in your world,
To the two who tried to swop pants in a psychotic disinhibited manner, thank you for showing me there's always another way to see the same thing in front of your eyes.
God thank you for putting them in my path, to show me what's important in life and beyond yourself. May I continue to be a message to some from YOU!!
To the anti-psy artist, I thank you for showing me strong belief in yourself and teaching me what true client centredness means,
To the ice cream man, I thank you for your laughter and your positivity despite you are in trouble, I so wished, still wish I could pull you out from the deep waters,
To the asylum seeker, your bravery, your endurance in hardship re-light a fire in my heart as I look back into my own history,
To the one in the wheelchair, thank you for giving me the opportunity to face up to my own fear of dying, suffering and being unloved,
To the one with the broken hand, you tested my patience and my sense of responsibilities, thank you for the opportunity that I could exceed my best,
To the enlighten car mechanic, I am sorry I couldn't stand up stronger for your spirituality,
To the cycling ex-solider lost in his own world, I am sorry I couldn't help find more justice in your world,
To the two who tried to swop pants in a psychotic disinhibited manner, thank you for showing me there's always another way to see the same thing in front of your eyes.
God thank you for putting them in my path, to show me what's important in life and beyond yourself. May I continue to be a message to some from YOU!!
Thursday, April 28, 2011
賣火柴的女孩
故事內容在一個寒冷的耶誕夜，有一個小女孩在街上兜售著火柴，因為小女孩的父親告訴小女孩，必須把火柴賣完才能回家，並且告訴她沒有賣完就不要回家了，但是街上的人忙著準備過新年，都假裝沒看見小女孩。
時間越來越晚，直到了深夜，小女孩的火柴還是賣不出去，所以她決定用火柴來取暖，當她點燃第一根火柴，看見了暖爐，接著他點了第二根，看見了有著華麗裝飾的聖誕樹，緊接著點燃第三根，她看見了火雞大餐，雖然只有短暫的瞬間，但是她看見了許多他想要但卻未曾擁有的事物，此時，小女孩心想如果能看見死去的奶奶就好了。
當她點燃下一根火柴時她見到了她最希望看見的奶奶，但是沒多久又消失了，小女孩焦急的把所有的火柴都點燃了，只見奶奶對著小女孩微笑，伸出溫暖的雙臂，小女孩興奮跑向奶奶，奶奶抱著小女孩帶著她一起離去。
隔日的一大早，人們發現小女孩倒在街上緊抱著燃燒過的火柴堆，臉上帶著幸福的笑容但已經沒有了氣息。
(from http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%8D%96%E7%81%AB%E6%9F%B4%E7%9A%84%E5%B0%8F%E5%A5%B3%E5%AD%A9, 2011-4-28)
It is weirdly the childhood story that I am resonate with the most and I do not even know fully why this is. I do not particuarlly feel like I am the little girl but I could see her smiles and what she was seeing.
時間越來越晚，直到了深夜，小女孩的火柴還是賣不出去，所以她決定用火柴來取暖，當她點燃第一根火柴，看見了暖爐，接著他點了第二根，看見了有著華麗裝飾的聖誕樹，緊接著點燃第三根，她看見了火雞大餐，雖然只有短暫的瞬間，但是她看見了許多他想要但卻未曾擁有的事物，此時，小女孩心想如果能看見死去的奶奶就好了。
當她點燃下一根火柴時她見到了她最希望看見的奶奶，但是沒多久又消失了，小女孩焦急的把所有的火柴都點燃了，只見奶奶對著小女孩微笑，伸出溫暖的雙臂，小女孩興奮跑向奶奶，奶奶抱著小女孩帶著她一起離去。
隔日的一大早，人們發現小女孩倒在街上緊抱著燃燒過的火柴堆，臉上帶著幸福的笑容但已經沒有了氣息。
(from http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%8D%96%E7%81%AB%E6%9F%B4%E7%9A%84%E5%B0%8F%E5%A5%B3%E5%AD%A9, 2011-4-28)
It is weirdly the childhood story that I am resonate with the most and I do not even know fully why this is. I do not particuarlly feel like I am the little girl but I could see her smiles and what she was seeing.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Now I look back at all the assignments I wrote for my Masters and I realised how much it was from within, the blood, the sweat and the tears...
As I prepare for the battle of my first job interview in the UK, I read over my assignments that I had completed in my Masters. And I realised, how much of what was in those thousands of words came from within. That energy, that sense of justice and anger or saddness were all real. They were part of me and it was all blood, sweat and tears. They were real, I meant what I said not just what somebody else famous or in the field said.
Perhaps, it frighten me how much I had been sitting in reflection since a long time ago. God, how can anyone spend so much time thinking? And if I think so much, how much or little am I doing in action? Perhaps what frighten me was also the passion and love I have within me for the world, the people and for life.
I realised that the very 'doing' of the Master was a personal journey of finding more about myself. What did I find, I wondered... I think I found passion, big love and bravery as well as the motivation that I want to make a change in the world even if it comes at a cost to me. But I also found someone who thinks alot, an exceptionally a lot who lack that brainless action that others are engaging with.
Although now that I had just finished my masters, I have no idea how I will be using the skills. But I am looking forward to it.
Perhaps, it frighten me how much I had been sitting in reflection since a long time ago. God, how can anyone spend so much time thinking? And if I think so much, how much or little am I doing in action? Perhaps what frighten me was also the passion and love I have within me for the world, the people and for life.
I realised that the very 'doing' of the Master was a personal journey of finding more about myself. What did I find, I wondered... I think I found passion, big love and bravery as well as the motivation that I want to make a change in the world even if it comes at a cost to me. But I also found someone who thinks alot, an exceptionally a lot who lack that brainless action that others are engaging with.
Although now that I had just finished my masters, I have no idea how I will be using the skills. But I am looking forward to it.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
沒想過我真的離開了
三月三十一日，我真的別了一份我喜愛的工作。
我沒法相信大家讚美我的好說話，好像只是他們好心說的。我聽了，整個人都麻木了，心裡想﹕這不是真的，我在做夢。但我感受到的心酸在提醒我這偏偏是鉄一般的事實！為了警惕我自已，我上司說的兩句話我要記下來:
她對我說﹕「Anita, 你有一份不怕苦的用心，妳從不計較把自己的地位降低了。只要你認為好的，你就勇往直前，那怕你要做的事不配你的身份和地位。」 (You do not mind getting your hands dirty and getting down to get the work done.)
「你是一個天生讓人肯定的人，是我們治療師中非常稀有的。在你還沒有在公共医療工作前，大家都聽說過你的名字。因為在每一個空缺補給的首選三位名單中總出現了「何‧嘉‧欣」這個名字。每一個上司都急着向人事部給壓力第一個邀請你來工作。到你選了我們這裡後，留意你的不但只有治療師們，就連主治醫生的上司都想知道這個中国女孩是哪一號的人物。你總是可以做出成績讓人感受到職業治療師的威力。你不要改變這珍貴的兩點。」
我希望我永遠記住這番勵志的話。今天我看到了一顆細少但光亮的鑽石，即使在暗淡無光的地方，它一样發光。我有了一奇特的想法 一 我也要像它，就算我是渺少，我都要在黑夜裡自信地發光照亮他人的生命。」
我沒法相信大家讚美我的好說話，好像只是他們好心說的。我聽了，整個人都麻木了，心裡想﹕這不是真的，我在做夢。但我感受到的心酸在提醒我這偏偏是鉄一般的事實！為了警惕我自已，我上司說的兩句話我要記下來:
她對我說﹕「Anita, 你有一份不怕苦的用心，妳從不計較把自己的地位降低了。只要你認為好的，你就勇往直前，那怕你要做的事不配你的身份和地位。」 (You do not mind getting your hands dirty and getting down to get the work done.)
「你是一個天生讓人肯定的人，是我們治療師中非常稀有的。在你還沒有在公共医療工作前，大家都聽說過你的名字。因為在每一個空缺補給的首選三位名單中總出現了「何‧嘉‧欣」這個名字。每一個上司都急着向人事部給壓力第一個邀請你來工作。到你選了我們這裡後，留意你的不但只有治療師們，就連主治醫生的上司都想知道這個中国女孩是哪一號的人物。你總是可以做出成績讓人感受到職業治療師的威力。你不要改變這珍貴的兩點。」
我希望我永遠記住這番勵志的話。今天我看到了一顆細少但光亮的鑽石，即使在暗淡無光的地方，它一样發光。我有了一奇特的想法 一 我也要像它，就算我是渺少，我都要在黑夜裡自信地發光照亮他人的生命。」
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