As I prepare for the battle of my first job interview in the UK, I read over my assignments that I had completed in my Masters. And I realised, how much of what was in those thousands of words came from within. That energy, that sense of justice and anger or saddness were all real. They were part of me and it was all blood, sweat and tears. They were real, I meant what I said not just what somebody else famous or in the field said.
Perhaps, it frighten me how much I had been sitting in reflection since a long time ago. God, how can anyone spend so much time thinking? And if I think so much, how much or little am I doing in action? Perhaps what frighten me was also the passion and love I have within me for the world, the people and for life.
I realised that the very 'doing' of the Master was a personal journey of finding more about myself. What did I find, I wondered... I think I found passion, big love and bravery as well as the motivation that I want to make a change in the world even if it comes at a cost to me. But I also found someone who thinks alot, an exceptionally a lot who lack that brainless action that others are engaging with.
Although now that I had just finished my masters, I have no idea how I will be using the skills. But I am looking forward to it.
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I didn't get the job. I was really upset about it. I think I make a bad failure because I do not take rejection well. Maybe I have too much confident about my ability? Maybe I do not tolerate for being 2nd best? Maybe I am frustrated at how I couldn't seem to make people see I am the best for the job? Maybe it was not meant to be?
God, I am feeling a whole lot better today. It takes a lot more to destroy me because I will not give up and nothing stands between me and what I intend to achieve. I will be patient and humble, I must remember that :)
Thank you for the strength! And bless those old ladies who helped me that day when I was lost. It reminds me again how a little act of kindness can really help others when they struggle and how much a little can mean to others.
A little act of kindness can light up the dark and warm the heart.This reminds me of the story of the little girl lighting matches in the cold dreaming about warm food and shelter.
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