Madiba

There's a river of tears I want to cry for you, the sight of your coffin over the tv screen send such mixed emotions through my body. My soul hurt knowing that you had departed. I felt an intense sense of loss and sadness, just like the time when I had lost my grandparents. Yet there was more in between the flooding tears - there is gratitude and pride. I am thankful and proud that I got to live in the country you built and fought for tirelessly. I am ever amazed at your ability to inspire hope, loyalty, respect and goodness in people. I bow at your ability to forgive and to see the human in the other when it could have been so understandably hard. Tata, we may feel lost without you as you had left us in this past week. But you had taught us well, if our heart, our mind and our hands are at the right places then we have direction, then we can carry on your walk for freedom. It is hard to go on without you but it was harder still what that child from Qunu had to face in front of him. What have we got to fear, if we have you as our guide on our journey? Farewell, tata! We may never see the like of you again. We shall miss you and you shall live on in our action, in our heart.

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use The tools, the gifts we've got yeah we got a lot at stake And in the end, you're still my friend at least we didn't tend For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not And who I am.... This is lyrics from a song 'I wouldn't give up' from Jason Mraz. Even through the context of the song is about a relationship, I feel very much this is a motivational song too. I have not succeeded more times I can count but I am not going to give up and walk away so easily. This is so not the last you have seen of me trying and fighting, screaming and kicking. A family member of someone suffering asked me how do I deal with people who's miserable everyday? This question echoed with me, yes just how do you do it? I think I can do it because I am not someone who walks away easily and yes, I am here to stay and to make the difference that I can make with what I got and who I am. I wouldn't give up easily, no, especially when my clients don't give up. I think sometimes clients have no idea I become someone more than I am because of them. Things I will not do for myself or say to stand up for myself, but yet I will do it for them. I also don't give up because I know I am better than some people appear to think I am and I have more patience and determination than they even think I have. So, success or not this time around, no, I am still not going to give up, no no, not now, not ever. If my mind is set, it really takes a lot to change it, a lot.

Preparing to fail is part of preparing to succeed

As I find myself at the same junction again doing the something I had done in the beginning of the year, I find myself standing still and mentally preparing how to fail gracefully. Through my recollection of what happened and how I felt, I say to myself this, 'yes it is very disappointing, very much a huge slap on the face by people who have little respect for you for reasons you don't understand. But look, I am still here, with a sore face that maybe slightly red, and 'I' have not been destroyed as I can still hold my head up. Hence I am prepared to say it more clearly and louder this time, should I fail, to the person whom many suspect holds the key as their approval is important: 'the loss is all yours for not picking me, because I am bigger than you. This has not and will never destroy me and I will rise again.' This is so not the last you will have seen of me. In fact, one day, you will beg me to go away. Nelson Mandela once said, "We should all bear in mind that the greatest glory of living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time you fall" and I say Amen!! to this great hero in my life.