Preparing to fail is part of preparing to succeed

As I find myself at the same junction again doing the something I had done in the beginning of the year, I find myself standing still and mentally preparing how to fail gracefully. Through my recollection of what happened and how I felt, I say to myself this, 'yes it is very disappointing, very much a huge slap on the face by people who have little respect for you for reasons you don't understand. But look, I am still here, with a sore face that maybe slightly red, and 'I' have not been destroyed as I can still hold my head up. Hence I am prepared to say it more clearly and louder this time, should I fail, to the person whom many suspect holds the key as their approval is important: 'the loss is all yours for not picking me, because I am bigger than you. This has not and will never destroy me and I will rise again.' This is so not the last you will have seen of me. In fact, one day, you will beg me to go away. Nelson Mandela once said, "We should all bear in mind that the greatest glory of living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time you fall" and I say Amen!! to this great hero in my life.

long long time ago, in the distance not so far away, there's a girl who is a big big dreamer. She often wondered whether she should stop because others would laugh at her. But somewhere deep inside, she cannot stop herself from dreaming for, hunger for, searching for the world as a better place for all. And yes she struggles,she struggles with where to position herself so that she is in the right place to find such a place in the world, or that she could beat reach for those in need. And yet, she would only make herself available to help, but never pushing forward to help as she believes the power should remain with the people. God, I pray that you will guide her on her journey of seeking and bringing hope and peace to herself and those she comes into contact with. God she knows she is not worthy to speak on your behalf but even if only to God your light, your hope and peace for others, may u grant her the opportunity to serve others so that u can answer people's prayers through her aa the instrument.

Thank you God, I am blessed

There are many moments in my life I am humbled by how blessed I am. I can never say I am truly the underdog because I have been very lucky in my life. My parents worked very hard to put me where I am in the world. But God, there is not the only reason why I feel blessed. I feel blessed, not only because of the opportunities I have had because my parents worked hard to position me to reach for them. When I hear how others had ticked all the boxes, had been at all the right places at the right time with the right things and people and it is a high way all the way - I still do not envy them. This is because even through I can never say I am the underdog, I had have the opportunity to walk along them and experience their struggle second handedly. Although I have no way of pulling them out of the struggle, but I am proud to be with them for a point in their journey. Some of those life sessions I had taken from them, I will never forget. So I thank you God, I am blessed.

Its been awhile but I'm not going away

If you think I have been gone forever and that you have got rid of me, you are wrong.you are so wrong.

I know you have been saying no, go away, you are nt good enough. You don't fit in our system... But I will not give in until I hear you cry for mercy.singer people may say I'm being childish and immature in expecting a change in something so rigid, and I knower I am probably too but stillit doesn't mean I don't thrist for my revenge. Yes I'm human, sinfully so.

I'm thinking that perhaps I should trying give up yet I never know it can be so hard to do so.in fact out is harder to give up than out is to hold on and just on and on. I'm thinking this is a calling to do something else quite differently. I wonder when will I have these courage to go places do things I have never done before, I shall look forward to that day when ishii can take that jump

It has been a while but I will not disappear our go away as you radish

It has ben

I am grateful that we have met...

As I prepare for yet another interview tomorrow, I began thinking about those of you I have met while I was working in my last job in SA. I really feel grateful that I have met each of you. I still remember one of the last thing one of you said to me was 'Anita, you have done so much for us, you have no idea how you have change our lives. There is nobody else like you in this place.' I would say the same for all of you, that you have no idea how much you have changed my world.

To the anti-psy artist, I thank you for showing me strong belief in yourself and teaching me what true client centredness means,

To the ice cream man, I thank you for your laughter and your positivity despite you are in trouble, I so wished, still wish I could pull you out from the deep waters,

To the asylum seeker, your bravery, your endurance in hardship re-light a fire in my heart as I look back into my own history,

To the one in the wheelchair, thank you for giving me the opportunity to face up to my own fear of dying, suffering and being unloved,

To the one with the broken hand, you tested my patience and my sense of responsibilities, thank you for the opportunity that I could exceed my best,

To the enlighten car mechanic, I am sorry I couldn't stand up stronger for your spirituality,

To the cycling ex-solider lost in his own world, I am sorry I couldn't help find more justice in your world,

To the two who tried to swop pants in a psychotic disinhibited manner, thank you for showing me there's always another way to see the same thing in front of your eyes.

God thank you for putting them in my path, to show me what's important in life and beyond yourself. May I continue to be a message to some from YOU!!