Antisocial personalities - cancer to the human nature?

I have had a frustrating day with unable to feel sympathetic towards antisocial personalities. Recently, 'antisocial personalities' have dominated my mind for a bit... I guess it's because I am not lack of contact of it recently - on tv and at work etc.

It is hard to believe anybody is able to be so self righteous and self centred. As if that is just the way it should be and why do you people keep thinking I am wrong. I fear slightly for myself as I am about to move into an area full with psychopaths and sociopaths at work this year. It's horrible the stories I have heard, not that I can tell anyone about them and if I did it would scare the hell out of anybody.

I laugh at myself for putting myself into a work setting where it is probably only a notch down from working as medic on a war zone. Colleagues of mine had been injured before too even through I know they are well respected by the clients they see. Working in that setting to come is going to be testing of what I am taught through my formal training as a therapist and as a person who had been brought up in a Eastern culture of compassion and love of the Budha.

Sometimes you just want to tell them 'come on, get yourself together... stop feeling sorry for yourself you are not winning with me!'... I wonder what has psychiatry turn me into? I like psych because it challenges your reality everyday every moment, it challenges your idea of normality and society all the time but at times I wish for the simplicity and unquestionableness of what to do in physical therapy settings.

Do I go for where it is easier to flow or do I struggle for what may potentially be fruitful? For a big part of my life it had never been a question worth thinking - of course I will struggle till my last breath for what I think is right or I should do... when reality is multiple in versions and perspectives, can I really do so sure anymore?

Day one at the Silk Road lecture series of 3

I was amazed by the level of enthusiasm there was for the silk road - it was one of the biggest lecture hall you can find in the university and it was FULL of old people (and yes they were mostly Europeans).

As I listen to the expert (the teacher) talk about things and places and people that I had known since I was a child, I felt ashamed of not knowing more about my own country - my motherland!!! It filled me with quite a bit of sadness to see in one picture from the thousand budha caves that foreigners from the west (possibly a missionary) were given the equal (or at least high) honour of being drew as a close follower of the Budha. It sadden me to think that diverse people used to be that nice to one another - what happened to us? Why all these division now while our ancestors had find ways of getting along? God, where did we go wrong?

I have heard the lecturer saying that invaluable books from a library cave in the thousand budha caves were sold to a foreigner as a way to raise funds to maintain it while Chinese information suggested they were stolen. It sadden me that the truth is so hard to find - perhaps it was a bit of both? Or it was bought at first and then stolen when people wanted more pieces of China?

God, Budha, the almighty being high above; teach us to get along again - please do not let us to forget the humanity that we need to see in each other... I pray that we see the humanity in others and see ourselves in it through our actions

Spiritual experience at work (at least I see it that way)

I had often wondered upon OTs seemingly denial of their involvements in spirituality at work, even through what I had observed today at work was not about the patients as such; spirituality as a topic is still very much a part of our lives as professions and as people.

During the usual breakfast scene in the morning, a friendly group of OTs sit together and have general conversation about life and everything. Speaking about attending a wedding, to how different cultures are, to how some people may compliant about living next to a religious worship place that are not of their own one making too much noise with their means of worshipping (e.g. praying or bell ringing). Came out of that was a beautiful example of what spirituality can do for people...... One of the OTs was describing a TV show that she had saw describing how prisoner in a miltary jail of another country were denied of their human rights to strave strike as they will force feed the prisoners. The prisoners tell of how their singing of prayers in their isolated cells together collectively was what kept them going and was their means of protest. The OTs listening were all from the same religion of these prisoners and the story teller drew silent, almost in acknowledgement of the power and almost as if that story also touched them.

As the observing person who is the only person not in the same religion/spiritual orientation, I felt the power of those prisoners prayers, the triumph of human spirit and ability to find meaning and create meaning in the most inhumane and unjust situation. I cried a silent tear in solidarity with them just like those colleagues who grew silent in acknowledgement of the same power.

What an amazing awakening at work!!! Spirituality is all around us... it is above us, within us and amongst us.

Occupational Therapy is a very spirited profession

Today I heard somebody saying that OTs are incredibly spiritual people - they hold on to something bigger because we can hardly identify completely with the purely 'simply magical powerful medicine' or 'science' or 'physiotherapy'.

I found this an interesting statement about OTs - we are about meaning, we want to help our clients do things that means to them. This make our pathways to health and wellbeing so different to other conventional health professionals - instead of 'intervening' to make them better, we believe in by doing and being in the basic everyday live activities and roles contributes to health. In fact, I think OTs find what is meaningful to themselves through helping others finding theirs in the everyday stuff.

What boggled my mind is this: if we are such a spiritual natured profession, why do we run from spirituality? Why is it that there are hardly anybody that is comfortable to just be in a therapeutic relationship with their client & feel their spirituality with them? Why are we afraid in challenging others (OTs, other HPs and clients) about the health giving and health damaging spiritual typed occupations?

OTs, you cannot run away from this mission that is yours!! You understand the link between meaning and spirituality as well as that with health, to be holistic in your work with the clients you have gotten; you got to deal with it!!

'This is it'

Micheal Jackson's 'this is it'

Although I am and had never been a great MJ fan, however somehow I felt the need to say goodbye. Perhaps it is for the memories in which I was 10 and saw him on a Chinese newspaper where I thought he was a she.

Watching MJ in his 'this is it', I thought to myself; this 'isn't' it through... MJ you can and will live on amongst your family, friends and fans - those who loved and still love you. This isn't it and you don't have to say goodbye to us so quickly.

I truely admired MJ's hardwork - the sense of everything must be perfection and nothing less. There isn't that many of us out there who love their work this much - that none but perfection will do. Besides, who can dance like that while singing, acting and telling others want to do with their instruments and dance steps at 50? I am half his age and I am out of breath just walking up the stairs.

MJ, you are truely remarkable - it is sad that people like me only realise your brilliance when you are gone... Wherever you are, may you be in peace.

PS I actually have this thought of MJ doing the thriller for real and rocking some after life party with real skeletons :D

I cried when I heard...

I was watching TV tonight - an entertaining talent show. Tears poured out of my eyes when I heard the following:

After singing very badly on the stage......
Judges: what do you do for a living?
Singer: I am a fruit seller.

After dancing an unexciting dancing routine......
Judges: Why are you dancing?
Dancer: (looking anxious)because it keeps us off the streets and doing drugs

Listen to the level of resilency and self determination. The self belief that 'yes I can do it - I can, yes me, yes I can'. God, thank you for inspiring me through ordinary people in life so I may not give up on the fight I will be in with and for others I serve. Thank you God!

I say ' blessed be the disabled!!'

I remember once upon a time I heard the saying 'blessed be the sick and the poor', as I am preparing for an exam poster - I just wanted to shout into the cyberspace 'BLESSED BE THE DISABLED!!'....

The reason I say this is because they are both sick (at one point to have gotten the impairment) and poor (as often they are restricted from active and full participations in life, limited by others in their access to resources, assistance and opportunities. These all lead towards poverty and further disabilities. Furthermore, because of their lived experience of social oppression and real bodily and environmental barriers; I dare to say they understand vulnerability and capabilities!!! I therefore make the conclusion that they are blessed as they are closer to God than 'we' (the so called normal who keeps think 'oh shame, in God's name; we will help you).

No no, guys we all got it wrong!!! It 's 'us' that needs help and let the children, the poor and the sick as well as the disabled show us the way!! I just wanted to say this - great, now it's out of my chest (or finger tips) LOL