Madiba

There's a river of tears I want to cry for you, the sight of your coffin over the tv screen send such mixed emotions through my body. My soul hurt knowing that you had departed. I felt an intense sense of loss and sadness, just like the time when I had lost my grandparents. Yet there was more in between the flooding tears - there is gratitude and pride. I am thankful and proud that I got to live in the country you built and fought for tirelessly. I am ever amazed at your ability to inspire hope, loyalty, respect and goodness in people. I bow at your ability to forgive and to see the human in the other when it could have been so understandably hard. Tata, we may feel lost without you as you had left us in this past week. But you had taught us well, if our heart, our mind and our hands are at the right places then we have direction, then we can carry on your walk for freedom. It is hard to go on without you but it was harder still what that child from Qunu had to face in front of him. What have we got to fear, if we have you as our guide on our journey? Farewell, tata! We may never see the like of you again. We shall miss you and you shall live on in our action, in our heart.

I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use The tools, the gifts we've got yeah we got a lot at stake And in the end, you're still my friend at least we didn't tend For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in I had to learn what I got, and what I'm not And who I am.... This is lyrics from a song 'I wouldn't give up' from Jason Mraz. Even through the context of the song is about a relationship, I feel very much this is a motivational song too. I have not succeeded more times I can count but I am not going to give up and walk away so easily. This is so not the last you have seen of me trying and fighting, screaming and kicking. A family member of someone suffering asked me how do I deal with people who's miserable everyday? This question echoed with me, yes just how do you do it? I think I can do it because I am not someone who walks away easily and yes, I am here to stay and to make the difference that I can make with what I got and who I am. I wouldn't give up easily, no, especially when my clients don't give up. I think sometimes clients have no idea I become someone more than I am because of them. Things I will not do for myself or say to stand up for myself, but yet I will do it for them. I also don't give up because I know I am better than some people appear to think I am and I have more patience and determination than they even think I have. So, success or not this time around, no, I am still not going to give up, no no, not now, not ever. If my mind is set, it really takes a lot to change it, a lot.

Preparing to fail is part of preparing to succeed

As I find myself at the same junction again doing the something I had done in the beginning of the year, I find myself standing still and mentally preparing how to fail gracefully. Through my recollection of what happened and how I felt, I say to myself this, 'yes it is very disappointing, very much a huge slap on the face by people who have little respect for you for reasons you don't understand. But look, I am still here, with a sore face that maybe slightly red, and 'I' have not been destroyed as I can still hold my head up. Hence I am prepared to say it more clearly and louder this time, should I fail, to the person whom many suspect holds the key as their approval is important: 'the loss is all yours for not picking me, because I am bigger than you. This has not and will never destroy me and I will rise again.' This is so not the last you will have seen of me. In fact, one day, you will beg me to go away. Nelson Mandela once said, "We should all bear in mind that the greatest glory of living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time you fall" and I say Amen!! to this great hero in my life.

long long time ago, in the distance not so far away, there's a girl who is a big big dreamer. She often wondered whether she should stop because others would laugh at her. But somewhere deep inside, she cannot stop herself from dreaming for, hunger for, searching for the world as a better place for all. And yes she struggles,she struggles with where to position herself so that she is in the right place to find such a place in the world, or that she could beat reach for those in need. And yet, she would only make herself available to help, but never pushing forward to help as she believes the power should remain with the people. God, I pray that you will guide her on her journey of seeking and bringing hope and peace to herself and those she comes into contact with. God she knows she is not worthy to speak on your behalf but even if only to God your light, your hope and peace for others, may u grant her the opportunity to serve others so that u can answer people's prayers through her aa the instrument.

Thank you God, I am blessed

There are many moments in my life I am humbled by how blessed I am. I can never say I am truly the underdog because I have been very lucky in my life. My parents worked very hard to put me where I am in the world. But God, there is not the only reason why I feel blessed. I feel blessed, not only because of the opportunities I have had because my parents worked hard to position me to reach for them. When I hear how others had ticked all the boxes, had been at all the right places at the right time with the right things and people and it is a high way all the way - I still do not envy them. This is because even through I can never say I am the underdog, I had have the opportunity to walk along them and experience their struggle second handedly. Although I have no way of pulling them out of the struggle, but I am proud to be with them for a point in their journey. Some of those life sessions I had taken from them, I will never forget. So I thank you God, I am blessed.

Its been awhile but I'm not going away

If you think I have been gone forever and that you have got rid of me, you are wrong.you are so wrong.

I know you have been saying no, go away, you are nt good enough. You don't fit in our system... But I will not give in until I hear you cry for mercy.singer people may say I'm being childish and immature in expecting a change in something so rigid, and I knower I am probably too but stillit doesn't mean I don't thrist for my revenge. Yes I'm human, sinfully so.

I'm thinking that perhaps I should trying give up yet I never know it can be so hard to do so.in fact out is harder to give up than out is to hold on and just on and on. I'm thinking this is a calling to do something else quite differently. I wonder when will I have these courage to go places do things I have never done before, I shall look forward to that day when ishii can take that jump

It has been a while but I will not disappear our go away as you radish