故事內容在一個寒冷的耶誕夜，有一個小女孩在街上兜售著火柴，因為小女孩的父親告訴小女孩，必須把火柴賣完才能回家，並且告訴她沒有賣完就不要回家了，但是街上的人忙著準備過新年，都假裝沒看見小女孩。
時間越來越晚，直到了深夜，小女孩的火柴還是賣不出去，所以她決定用火柴來取暖，當她點燃第一根火柴，看見了暖爐，接著他點了第二根，看見了有著華麗裝飾的聖誕樹，緊接著點燃第三根，她看見了火雞大餐，雖然只有短暫的瞬間，但是她看見了許多他想要但卻未曾擁有的事物，此時，小女孩心想如果能看見死去的奶奶就好了。
當她點燃下一根火柴時她見到了她最希望看見的奶奶，但是沒多久又消失了，小女孩焦急的把所有的火柴都點燃了，只見奶奶對著小女孩微笑，伸出溫暖的雙臂，小女孩興奮跑向奶奶，奶奶抱著小女孩帶著她一起離去。
隔日的一大早，人們發現小女孩倒在街上緊抱著燃燒過的火柴堆，臉上帶著幸福的笑容但已經沒有了氣息。
(from http://zh.wikipedia.org/wiki/%E5%8D%96%E7%81%AB%E6%9F%B4%E7%9A%84%E5%B0%8F%E5%A5%B3%E5%AD%A9, 2011-4-28)
It is weirdly the childhood story that I am resonate with the most and I do not even know fully why this is. I do not particuarlly feel like I am the little girl but I could see her smiles and what she was seeing.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Now I look back at all the assignments I wrote for my Masters and I realised how much it was from within, the blood, the sweat and the tears...
As I prepare for the battle of my first job interview in the UK, I read over my assignments that I had completed in my Masters. And I realised, how much of what was in those thousands of words came from within. That energy, that sense of justice and anger or saddness were all real. They were part of me and it was all blood, sweat and tears. They were real, I meant what I said not just what somebody else famous or in the field said.
Perhaps, it frighten me how much I had been sitting in reflection since a long time ago. God, how can anyone spend so much time thinking? And if I think so much, how much or little am I doing in action? Perhaps what frighten me was also the passion and love I have within me for the world, the people and for life.
I realised that the very 'doing' of the Master was a personal journey of finding more about myself. What did I find, I wondered... I think I found passion, big love and bravery as well as the motivation that I want to make a change in the world even if it comes at a cost to me. But I also found someone who thinks alot, an exceptionally a lot who lack that brainless action that others are engaging with.
Although now that I had just finished my masters, I have no idea how I will be using the skills. But I am looking forward to it.
Perhaps, it frighten me how much I had been sitting in reflection since a long time ago. God, how can anyone spend so much time thinking? And if I think so much, how much or little am I doing in action? Perhaps what frighten me was also the passion and love I have within me for the world, the people and for life.
I realised that the very 'doing' of the Master was a personal journey of finding more about myself. What did I find, I wondered... I think I found passion, big love and bravery as well as the motivation that I want to make a change in the world even if it comes at a cost to me. But I also found someone who thinks alot, an exceptionally a lot who lack that brainless action that others are engaging with.
Although now that I had just finished my masters, I have no idea how I will be using the skills. But I am looking forward to it.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
沒想過我真的離開了
三月三十一日，我真的別了一份我喜愛的工作。
我沒法相信大家讚美我的好說話，好像只是他們好心說的。我聽了，整個人都麻木了，心裡想﹕這不是真的，我在做夢。但我感受到的心酸在提醒我這偏偏是鉄一般的事實！為了警惕我自已，我上司說的兩句話我要記下來:
她對我說﹕「Anita, 你有一份不怕苦的用心，妳從不計較把自己的地位降低了。只要你認為好的，你就勇往直前，那怕你要做的事不配你的身份和地位。」 (You do not mind getting your hands dirty and getting down to get the work done.)
「你是一個天生讓人肯定的人，是我們治療師中非常稀有的。在你還沒有在公共医療工作前，大家都聽說過你的名字。因為在每一個空缺補給的首選三位名單中總出現了「何‧嘉‧欣」這個名字。每一個上司都急着向人事部給壓力第一個邀請你來工作。到你選了我們這裡後，留意你的不但只有治療師們，就連主治醫生的上司都想知道這個中国女孩是哪一號的人物。你總是可以做出成績讓人感受到職業治療師的威力。你不要改變這珍貴的兩點。」
我希望我永遠記住這番勵志的話。今天我看到了一顆細少但光亮的鑽石，即使在暗淡無光的地方，它一样發光。我有了一奇特的想法 一 我也要像它，就算我是渺少，我都要在黑夜裡自信地發光照亮他人的生命。」
我沒法相信大家讚美我的好說話，好像只是他們好心說的。我聽了，整個人都麻木了，心裡想﹕這不是真的，我在做夢。但我感受到的心酸在提醒我這偏偏是鉄一般的事實！為了警惕我自已，我上司說的兩句話我要記下來:
她對我說﹕「Anita, 你有一份不怕苦的用心，妳從不計較把自己的地位降低了。只要你認為好的，你就勇往直前，那怕你要做的事不配你的身份和地位。」 (You do not mind getting your hands dirty and getting down to get the work done.)
「你是一個天生讓人肯定的人，是我們治療師中非常稀有的。在你還沒有在公共医療工作前，大家都聽說過你的名字。因為在每一個空缺補給的首選三位名單中總出現了「何‧嘉‧欣」這個名字。每一個上司都急着向人事部給壓力第一個邀請你來工作。到你選了我們這裡後，留意你的不但只有治療師們，就連主治醫生的上司都想知道這個中国女孩是哪一號的人物。你總是可以做出成績讓人感受到職業治療師的威力。你不要改變這珍貴的兩點。」
我希望我永遠記住這番勵志的話。今天我看到了一顆細少但光亮的鑽石，即使在暗淡無光的地方，它一样發光。我有了一奇特的想法 一 我也要像它，就算我是渺少，我都要在黑夜裡自信地發光照亮他人的生命。」
Thursday, October 21, 2010
My grandparents
You raised me up so I can do anything. You raised me up, you make me strong so I can be more myself, more like the divine being that I thrive to be. And that gave me the courage to be brave and encouragous for others when I couldn't stand up for myself.
I miss you, I always will long for the day we would be reunited in spirit. You have made me more than I can be on my own. You believed in me when I didn't mysel.f I look forward to the day when someone else look up to me the way I will always look up to you.
Thank you for being my grandparents. I could not ask for better people to learn from. I learn from your perservernece, your courage, your love and sense of responsbility for your family and your hardworkingness.
You live forever, in me. You live forever.
I miss you, I always will long for the day we would be reunited in spirit. You have made me more than I can be on my own. You believed in me when I didn't mysel.f I look forward to the day when someone else look up to me the way I will always look up to you.
Thank you for being my grandparents. I could not ask for better people to learn from. I learn from your perservernece, your courage, your love and sense of responsbility for your family and your hardworkingness.
You live forever, in me. You live forever.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
What am I doing?
Today as I walked into the computer lab where I was intending to do my work, I met a familiar face. It is a face that belongs to a fellow postgraduate student that I have always fondly enjoy chatting about politics and macro issues in the region where we live.
During the lively chat, we spoke about poverty; we spoke about regional policies keeping people immobile and disadvantaged. I cannot help but be asking myself, what am I doing to help this situation? What can I do and what am I doing?
I am not doing anything, let's admit that. I feel guilty, I feel angry and I feel depressed and incapable of helping others in that situation. I am shocked and I am stunned. I ask this of myself, is it naive is it silly is it crazy to think I should be doing something about this? Am I out of my mind and why do I care so much?
Why should I stand up and how do I do this? It is painfully ironic when I wonder how much would my family care about the same thing. And how urge do they feel they should do something? I can almost hear them saying just do your job and don't get into trouble. But I feel like sometimes I have to get into trouble in order to do my job.
God, I pray that you would give me direction - direction that guide me in being able to make a difference how ever small individual me as a person. I find it really hard not to break when I think - gosh, why such injustice and inequality for my brothers and sisters from another mother and father? Why?
God, why?
During the lively chat, we spoke about poverty; we spoke about regional policies keeping people immobile and disadvantaged. I cannot help but be asking myself, what am I doing to help this situation? What can I do and what am I doing?
I am not doing anything, let's admit that. I feel guilty, I feel angry and I feel depressed and incapable of helping others in that situation. I am shocked and I am stunned. I ask this of myself, is it naive is it silly is it crazy to think I should be doing something about this? Am I out of my mind and why do I care so much?
Why should I stand up and how do I do this? It is painfully ironic when I wonder how much would my family care about the same thing. And how urge do they feel they should do something? I can almost hear them saying just do your job and don't get into trouble. But I feel like sometimes I have to get into trouble in order to do my job.
God, I pray that you would give me direction - direction that guide me in being able to make a difference how ever small individual me as a person. I find it really hard not to break when I think - gosh, why such injustice and inequality for my brothers and sisters from another mother and father? Why?
God, why?
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Inspiring the therapist
It had been a remarkable day for me. I want to say that I am grateful for those whom I work with today. Today, they had taught me hope and perseverance. The hard works do pay off.
I had been working very hard with these particular two individuals. I am and had walked a long hard part of their journey back to life with them. One found work and the other doing so well that gave me the confidence that it will all be okay.
I want to capture this happy moment for myself. It was a remarkable feeling when relief came in a context of illness, poverty and being in a strange place. It was equally remarkable when our eyes met, you said everything without saying a word to tell me how you appreciated and acknowledged my involvement, my walking alongside with you to stand on your own again. It is hard to let go but it makes me proud to let you go and see you fly.
This, is truly inspiring; even for the therapist :)
I had been working very hard with these particular two individuals. I am and had walked a long hard part of their journey back to life with them. One found work and the other doing so well that gave me the confidence that it will all be okay.
I want to capture this happy moment for myself. It was a remarkable feeling when relief came in a context of illness, poverty and being in a strange place. It was equally remarkable when our eyes met, you said everything without saying a word to tell me how you appreciated and acknowledged my involvement, my walking alongside with you to stand on your own again. It is hard to let go but it makes me proud to let you go and see you fly.
This, is truly inspiring; even for the therapist :)
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Happy Birthday Madiba!
Today, 18th July 2010 marks the 92th birthday of South African ex-president Nelson Mandela. There is no word to describe someone as amazing and as legendary as him.
Happy Birthday Madiba. Here's the words of a song my favourite band wrote in honor of you:
《光輝歲月》的歌詞在下面給大家欣賞：
作曲： 黃家駒 作詞： 黃家駒 歌手： Beyond
鐘聲響起歸家的訊號
在他生命裡 彷彿帶點唏噓
黑色肌膚給他的意義
是一生奉獻 膚色鬥爭中
＊年月把擁有變做失去
疲倦的雙眼帶著期望＊
＃今天只有殘留的軀殼
迎接光輝歲月 風雨中抱緊自由
一生經過徬徨的掙扎
自信可改變未來 問誰又能做到＃
可否不分膚色的界限
願這土地裡 不分你我高低
繽紛色彩閃出的美麗
是因它沒有 分開每種色彩
(the above picture came from http://api.ning.com via Google search and is hereby acknowledged.)
Happy Birthday Madiba. Here's the words of a song my favourite band wrote in honor of you:
《光輝歲月》的歌詞在下面給大家欣賞：
作曲： 黃家駒 作詞： 黃家駒 歌手： Beyond
鐘聲響起歸家的訊號
在他生命裡 彷彿帶點唏噓
黑色肌膚給他的意義
是一生奉獻 膚色鬥爭中
＊年月把擁有變做失去
疲倦的雙眼帶著期望＊
＃今天只有殘留的軀殼
迎接光輝歲月 風雨中抱緊自由
一生經過徬徨的掙扎
自信可改變未來 問誰又能做到＃
可否不分膚色的界限
願這土地裡 不分你我高低
繽紛色彩閃出的美麗
是因它沒有 分開每種色彩
(the above picture came from http://api.ning.com via Google search and is hereby acknowledged.)
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